200+ Quotes & Sayings By Scott Stabile

It only hurts us to love when we do so with expectation. And that’s not really love, anyway. Love has no expectations, no qualifiers, no conditions. Love is pure, untouched by our mind’s demands, untainted by our desperation and fear. Love can only be beautiful. It can only be divine. No, love doesn’t hurt, not when it’s real. Love empowers. It strengthens. It reminds us who we really are and why we’re really here. Love, more than anything else in this entire world, heals us. Scott Stabile

Happiness is not a choice, or we’d all be happy. Let’s stop putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves to be happy all the time, and to pretend we can choose to be happy whenever we want. That’s not how life works. Sure, we can make choices that reflect a commitment to our well-being, and the more of these choices we make, the more likely we are to find ourselves feeling good more often. Healthy choices are within our power, and are important. But we can’t choose happiness, and we just set ourselves up for failure by believing we can. Life is more than happiness, anyway. It’s okay to feel all the things we feel. It’s human. There’s no shame in wanting to be happy, of course. We all want to be happy. But rather than try to choose happiness, maybe we can choose to being kinder and more loving. That we can do. We can work hard to take better care of ourselves, and better care of each other. If we do these things, and we remember that we are all connected, all brothers and sisters, all worthy of love, maybe then happiness will choose us a little more often. Scott Stabile

Happiness is not found in a life lived for the expectations of others. Rather than seek happiness living my life to please the will of others, I will seek happiness where I know it can be found–living my life to please the will of my heart. Scott Stabile

I don't know about you, but sometimes I need to remind myself to breathe. I have to close my eyes and concentrate, even force myself to take a few deep breaths. In and out. In and out. In and out. I know that breathing just happens, without us needing to work at it. But so does stress, and distress, and discomfort. That's when a few deep, conscious breaths can make a world of difference. Can I get an inhale? . Scott Stabile

She was a victim, until she decided she wasn’t. Until she realized only she had the final say in her victimhood. That it was a choice. Her choice. Before then, she allowed the actions of others to define her. She allowed painful, unfair circumstances to dictate how she announced herself to the world. She gave up control of who she was, and who she wanted to be, at home–but lost–in a victim’s life. so she made the choice to find herself. She couldn’t take responsibility for everything that happened to her. Bad things happen to us all, even when we don't invite them. But, she could own her response to all of it. everything. The moment she chose to do so, she ignited a strength she’d long forgotten and saw, at last, new possibilitiess for her life. She opened the door to a deeper healing and to endless opportunities for real change. The very moment she chose to take responsibility for her life, she acknowledged her power like never before. And was, never again, a victim. . Scott Stabile

You have the power to change your life, if you want to. By the words you speak, the actions you take, the thoughts you give weight to. Your choices make all the difference. Your dedication alone will set you on a new path. Are you committed to making a better life for yourself? We make it a priority to discover your happiness? Can you let the past go to create space for the present? Your life will only change if you're willing to make changes, when you consider your peace and well-being and begin to make choices that serve them. One choice at the time. Though growthh is happening every moment, change rarely happens overnight. But it will happen eventually, if you stay committed. And why wouldn't you? This is your one very precious life were talking about. Scott Stabile

No one determines your truth but you. You can’t paint your own self-portrait with someone else’s hand. Scott Stabile

We can’t heal what we refuse to acknowledge. Scott Stabile

I can’t control my feelings, but I’m learning to have a say in how much my feelings control me. Scott Stabile

I am continually coming back to the belief that I know nothing, or that there are much deeper places to go with what I think I know. It's liberating, actually. I don't think the biggest questions can be answered with any certainty. I'm becoming more and more peaceful not knowing. Scott Stabile

When some things don’t work out, other things do. Some of life’s most memorable and fun experiences happen precisely because things don’t go as planned. Scott Stabile

Don't waste mirror time criticizing your appearance when you could be spending it complementing the one person who has seen you through all of life's challenges and will get you through all that’s coming. that reflection of yours deserves nothing but praise, for as long as you're able to look in the mirror and see the it. Scott Stabile

I’ve finally figured out a way to stand strong on my own. Scott Stabile

Sometimes my mind goes dark, and every single part of my life goes dark with it. Any happiness I thought I knew gets replaced by a sadness so big it must be for the whole world. I convince myself that I have nothing to offer, and that nobody has anything to offer me, either. I commit to hopelessness. In these dark moments I remind myself, ( because I’d be too lost without the reminder) that what I'm feeling isn't the full truth of the world, not by miles, and that though I can't see it, nothing is as dire as the nightmare my mind conjures, and that i, and the world, will be okay. In time, with hope. Slowly I come out of the darkness again. I reject my mind's devotion to misery and fear, and reroute myself on a path of acceptance and love. I focus on the beauty in our world, and in myself, and I remember that we are family, all of us, and we each matter. We each shine. Certainly. Scott Stabile

Find people who can handle your darkest truths, who don’t change the subject when you share your pain, or try to make you feel bad for feeling bad. Find people who understand we all struggle, some of us more than others, and that there’s no weakness in admitting it. In fact, few things take as much strength. Find people who want to be real, however that looks and feels, and who want you to be real, too. Find people who get that life is hard, and who get that life is also beautiful, and who aren’t afraid to honor both those realities. Find people who help you feel more at home in your heart, mind and body, and who take joy in your joy. Find people who love you, for real, and who accept you, for real. Just as you are. They’re out there, these people. Your tribe is waiting for you. Don’t stop searching until you find them.9/30/16 Then her heart opened wider than it ever had before, and all she saw before her, everywhere she looked, were people to love. Scott Stabile

I looked at my life and for the first time felt like I could hold it all. That I didn’t need to let go of anything in order to be whole. That even those things I’d been clinging to had a place in my freedom. That every single thing played its role. Scott Stabile

It’s easy to rebuke each other’s opinions, but can we honor each other’s pain? Can we make the effort to see beyond the portraits we’ve painted of one another, and to connect to the humanity that thrives beneath our own assumptions? Can we be relentless in our desire to tear down walls, and to build bridges? Can we be brave and stay committed to the conversations that need to be had? The only thing I know about these questions is that I need to replace the we with I, and begin to answer them from there. One thing I know for sure: I want to become the example I wish to see in others. That's a good place to start. Another thing I know for sure: I love you. You're beautiful. You rock. Scott Stabile

To all the friends out there struggling while so many are celebrating right now, please know that you are not alone, and you are so loved. I hold you in my heart and send you extra support and love these days, and all the light I know how to muster. I love you. Scott Stabile

Aren’t you tired of shutting up? Aren’t you sick of choking down your truth? Aren’t you over nodding yes when you mean no? Then stop–shutting and choking and nodding. You have not come this far to stay silent. You have not endured so much to give up now. You have not awakened just to go back to sleep. Right now is the time to announce yourself. Who are you? What do we need to know? Only you make claim to who you are. Only you decide what’s right, and not, for you. Only you choose how you want to shine. You–only you–get to create your singular life. Scott Stabile

Friends..we can paralyze ourselves with the need to have all the details in order, with the desire to know all of the hows, with the reasons why we're not quite ready, and whatever other story we tell ourselves to keep from diving into the changes/dreams/goals we know we need to go after in our lives. At some point, though, we have to dive in. You'll never have all the details worked out, and they'll change along the way. You'll never know all the hows, and you don't need to. Nobody does. There will always be reasons you're not ready enough, and always fears that will beg you not to do a thing. Sometimes the only way we can overcome all of these obstacles is by starting, wherever we are, with whatever we have to offer in the moment. Really, just begin. Scott Stabile

When we open ourselves up to feeling, we can't only open ourselves up to feeling certain things. The same is true when we shut ourselves down. The walls that guard against sadness also guard against happiness. Scott Stabile

If you believe in God, then you’re a child of God.As such, you’re as worthy of loveas anyone who has ever lived. If you don’t believe in God, then you’re a child of Nature.As such, you’re as worthy of loveas anyone who has ever lived. Nothing you can do will make youany more or any less worthy of lovethan you already are, and always have been. You’re as worthy as they come, my friend. Please try not to forget that. Scott Stabile

As much as I love to see the sun setting behind a city skyline, and to feel the pure majesty of a wild river or soaring mountain, and to fade, then disappear into a transcendent book, song or film, I am always most astounded, moved and transported by the warmthand kindness of a loving person. Always. Scott Stabile

Today, I choose not to take my life for granted. I choose not to look upon the fact that I am healthy, have food in my refrigerator and have clean water to drink as givens. They are not givens for so many people in our world. The fact that I am safe and (relatively) sane are not givens. That I was born into a family who loves me and into a country not ravaged by war are not givens. It is impossible to name all of the circumstances in my life I’ve taken for granted. All of the basic needs I’ve had met, all of the friendships and job opportunities and financial blessings and the list, truly, goes on and on. The fact that I am breathing is a miracle, one I too rarely stop to appreciate. I’m stopping, right now, to be grateful for everything I am and everything I’ve been given. I’m stopping, right now, to be grateful for every pleasure and every pain that has contributed to the me who sits here and writes these words. I am thankful for my life. This moment is a blessing. Each breath a gift. That I’ve been able to take so much for granted is a gift, too. But it’s not how I want to live–not when gratitude is an option, now when wonder and awe are choices. I choose gratitude. I choose wonder. I choose awe. I choose everything that suggest I’m opening myself to the miraculous reality of simply being alive for one moment more. . Scott Stabile

I’m super fucking sensitive. I love this about myself only slightly more than I can’t stand it. Sometimes I wish I were an unfeeling stone who didn’t take everything so personally and didn’t need so much space all the time. Feeling can get exhausting fast. Mostly, though, I know my sensitivity is a superpower, perhaps my greatest, and it’s the thing that keeps me loving our world in a profound way, when I’m not too busy hiding from it, that is. Scott Stabile

Here's the thing about meditation, as I try once again to make it a habit.. Even when I close my eyes to meditate for five minutes, body fidgeting, mind racing and worrying and busying itself with everything but the present moment, I still feel quieter, more relaxed when I open my eyes. Maybe it's just the simple act of giving myself five dedicated minutes of attention (no matter how they play out) to the calm, knowing soul that smiles from within at all of my mental nonsense. We are beings of peace after all. And of love. So much goodness, so much understanding and compassion lives inside each of us, like wide-eyed children, always ready to come out and play. Scott Stabile

Be free, my friend. Cry, scream, rage, collapse. Your pain is not too much for us. And though it’s hard to believe right now, your pain is not too much for you, either. Fall apart into a thousand frightened pieces, question everything you’ve always trusted, grieve however you need to grieve. We’ll still be here. So will you. Yes, you will survive this. Changed but stronger. Wounded but alive. Seen, and loved. So very loved. Scott Stabile

Everywhere I look I see people doing their best to make sense of this overwhelming reality, and to be kind, authentic human beings despite the many invitations we all receive to be phony, unkind assholes. Sometimes their best doesn’t look like much to me, and I remind myself that my best doesn’t look like much a lot of the time, too. I empathize. We’re all human, and we’re all struggling. Every single one of us, every single day. It’s not my job to police the paths of others, not when it takes so much effort to light my own. Scott Stabile

I can’t tell you anything about yourself you don’t already know… W A I T…unless you don’t know you’re an incredibly freaking amazing person with boundless gifts to share…then I can tell you that. Scott Stabile

If you can’t forget about all the great pains you’ve endured, as many of us can’t, at least take some time to celebrate the fact that you’ve somehow kept going, in spite of it all. And you’ve certainly kept growing, because of it all. Scott Stabile

We can't really know what relationships will last or not last in our lives, romantic and otherwise. What we can do is give the best we've got to the relationships we've chosen for ourselves. We can show up with an open heart and mind, be grateful for the exchange of love, and trust in however these relationships evolve. We can also be grateful for the relationships that have ended, trusting that we received from them something important that has helped to move us farther along our paths. . Scott Stabile

And then there was that time you sucked down your fear, breathed into it, faced it with a courage that moves mountains, and you stepped right into that thing, that situation, that experience moments and forever before had crippled and controlled you, and had you believing you could never rise up to meet it. but you did, because you could. and you will again, because you can. yes, you can. Scott Stabile

We all get in a funk sometimes. It doesn't mean you're failing, or ungrateful, or stupid, or lost. It means you're human. The Funk happens. For all of us. We can’t be happy all the time. We don’t need to be. Scott Stabile

I look around and see so much fear, people getting more and more comfortable with their hate, more at ease being mean, more united in their separation. And I think, NO. Not me. I will not get lost in this fearful world. I will not play with bullies. I will continue to be brave and kind. I will speak for real unity. And no matter what, I will never stop loving. Scott Stabile

Today is a day, like every other day, brimming with possibility. A day to treat people with kindness and respect. A day to move closer to fulfilling your dreams. A day to forgive yourself for absolutely everything. A day to smile with gratitude. Today is a day, like every other day, to create the kind of life you want to live, the kind that makes you feel good and right, the kind of life you were born to realize. Today. . Scott Stabile

Of course change is hard. It has to be. It carries with it - every single time - the potential to elevate, even revolutionize your life in ways you can never truly realize until you're already transformed, safely on the other side of your resistance and fear. Change is hard, but rarely as difficult as not doing anything. Now is the time - really, right now - to start making those changes you know you need to make in your life. Dive into change, into the sea of possibility it creates, and trust that all the hard work will bring you some deeply wonderful things - like a greater sense of calm and happiness, and a truer taste of freedom. If you can’t dive in, that’s okay. Tip toe, baby step, crawl if you have to. Just keep moving forward, no matter what, into what is already becoming your new and beautiful reality. Scott Stabile

I've wasted a lot of time in my life waiting for good things to happen, rather than acting to make them happen. What I've learned? Waiting suffocates power. Acting ignites it. Waiting feeds anxiety. Acting relaxes it. Waiting fuels boredom. Acting repels it. Waiting galvanizes fear. Acting subdues it. Your life will not change any sooner while you wait around for something new. But it just may transform at warp speed once you take action to change it. I'm tired of wasting time, of waiting time. How about you? Act, don't wait. . Scott Stabile

It's important to work on our personal growth, and part of that work is learning, and accepting the fact that we are absolutely enough, as we are. Some of our most profound changes manifest by simply embracing who we've been all along. Scott Stabile

Share your gifts. Learn from the gifts of others. Stay open to whichever role – teacher and/or student – life is calling on you to play. And bring as much acceptance and love to each performance. When we walk through life as only a teacher, we miss out on learning from the world around us. When we walk through life as only a student, we miss out on sharing our unique vision of the world. Scott Stabile

My beautiful friend, even on your darkest day i have benefited from the warmth of your light. and i know i’m not the only one. even when you are not consciously giving, you are still giving so much. with your openness, your kindness, your understanding. see yourself through my eyes, for just a moment. feel yourself through my heart. Allow me the honor of reflecting back to you the love you have shown me, time and again, when it was only real love, and real friendship that could have pulled me from the pain. let me take some of your pain now. I am here. I am yours. You are mine, my friend. I am grateful. Scott Stabile

He used to hide his true self because he feared people wouldn’t like him, or would judge him for being too much this and not enough that. He found himself acting like everyone else, even though his heart wanted to express itself in ways that felt different than much of what he was seeing in the world. His heart grew louder, and he longed to taste a different kind of freedom, one his mind had worked hard to contain in order to keep him feeling safe. But that safety came with a price: his authenticity. Then it occurred to him, some people would judge him no matter who he was or what he did. And that if he was going to be judged anyway, he may as well live his life as authentically as possible and at least be judged for his truth. He also knew some people would love him no matter who he was or what he did, and how much better it would feel to be loved for being real. . Scott Stabile

I’m in awe of the people who manage their difficult lives with little complaint, those who have suffered more than their fair share of pain, and understand things could have been much worse, those who take the time to be grateful for the important things, and who never give up on themselves or their lives. It's no easy feat to stay optimistic when life has shown you too much darkness, yet our world is filled with these steady, strong, resilient warriors of the light. From them, we have so much to learn. Scott Stabile

We can't act cruelly toward others without also being negatively affected by our actions. We really are all connected, deeper than we know. If we can't be kinder to each other simply because it's the compassionate and loving way to be, the less remember that when we hurt others, we hurt ourselves, too. Every single time. Just one more reason to treat each other well. Scott Stabile

If you’ve given your all, and it's still not working, it's likely time to move on. Scott Stabile

She felt likee doing her part to change the world, so she started by giving thanks for all the blessings of her life, rather than bemoaning all that was missing from it. Then she complimented her reflection in the mirror, instead of criticizing it as she usually did. Next she walked into her neighborhood and offered her smile to everyone she passed, whether or not they offered theirs to her. Each day she did these things, and soon they became habit. Each day she lived with more gratitude, more acceptance, more kindnesss. And sure enough, the world around her began to change. Because she had decided so, she was single-handedly doing her part to change it. Scott Stabile

What is true for you? What makes your heart smile? When do you feel most yourself? What do you love to do? Ask yourself these questions, and live your life, as best you can, in accordance with the answers. This is how you taste happiness. This is how you love yourself. This is how you grow. Scott Stabile

I don’t wish for more time. I wish for more courage to live freely right now. Scott Stabile

It’s amazing to consider just how many people smile at the thought of you. Scott Stabile

You get to a point when you just don’t want to be pushed anymore. pushed to pretend you’re okay with condescending behavior and disrespectful attitudes. pushed to ignore the determined yearnings of your clearest truth. pushed to engage in conversations and situations that in no way serve your state of peace. pushed to act a bogus part and clap for those who are acting theirs. pushed to be quiet and to stay small. pushed to exist rather than live. you get to a point when it’s all too much, too exhausting, too false. something must change. then you realize that the changes you crave have always been within your power to create. you realize that no one has the might to push you into anything when you are unwilling to be pushed. you realize that you, more effectively than any outside influence, have been your biggest pusher all along. so you stop–pushing and pretending and acting and shrinking. you stop it all, because you can. and you don’t waste too much time regretting that you didn’t do it sooner. you’re suddenly much too busy living your life for such silly regrets. . Scott Stabile

Today, I choose not to take my life for granted. I choose not to look upon the fact that I am healthy, have food in my refrigerator and have clean water to drink as givens. They are not givens for so many people in our world. The fact that I am safe and (relatively) sane are not givens. That I was born into a family who loves me and into a country not ravaged by war are not givens. It is impossible to name all of the circumstances in my life I've taken for granted. All of the basic needs I've had met, all of the friendships and job opportunities and financial blessings and the list, truly, is endless. The fact that I am breathing is a miracle, one I too rarely stop to appreciate. I'm stopping, right now, to be grateful for everything I am and everything I've been given. I'm stopping, right now, to be grateful for every pleasure and every pain that has contributed to the me who sits here and writes these words. I am thankful for my life. This moment is a blessing. Each breath a gift. That I've been able to take so much for granted is a gift, too. But it's not how I want to live–not when gratitude is an option, not when wonder and awe are choices. I choose gratitude. I choose wonder. I choose awe. I choose everything that suggests I'm opening myself to the miraculous reality of simply being alive for one moment more. . Scott Stabile

I’m afraid i’ll lose you if i share all that’s real.i’m afraid i’ll lose myself if i don’t. Scott Stabile

Isn’t it time to start giving yourself the great gift of your own love? Scott Stabile

You don’t have to do the same things you’ve always done, if it no longer feels good to do them. Give yourself permission to try something different, something new. Give yourself permission to break away from routine and obligation. Permission to explore, and to soar. Scott Stabile

I used to listen to all the voices in my head that told me I wasn’t good enough, or that I would fail if I tried, or that everyone would judge me harshly for my truth. I used to let one fear or the other dictate how I chose to live my life. Not surprisingly, my life didn’t change much. I spent a lot of time with regret, and thinking about what could have been. I found myself wishing I’d at least tried to do some of the things I’d been so afraid to do. So I began to. I made the choice to hear all the fearful critics in my head without actually listening to them. I gave them a voice, but no longer a say. I had given all the power to my fear, after all, so it was within me to take it away. And my entire life changed, as every life does once we insist that our fears take a backseat to our courage and desire. Fear may not be a choice, but the commitment to take brave action, despite our fears, is always there for the choosing. I spent enough time obeying my fears. Too much time. Now I listen to different voices, the ones reminding me that no matter what happens, no matter what people think, the great potential of my life, and joy, lives within my commitment to live my life beyond my fear. Scott Stabile

Sometimes I act like I have my shit together more than I do. Sometimes I act like I don’t have my shit together as much as I do. I’m done acting. I’d rather just be okay with however together my shit is at the time, and still do my best to show up, as I am. Scott Stabile

I see you. I see your strength and courage, your hesitations and fears. I see the way you love others, and your struggle to love yourself. I see how hard you work to grow, and your dedication to heal. I see your vulnerable humanity, and your transcendent divinity. I see you, and I love what I see. Scott Stabile

Our difference are beautiful yet sometimes connection requires us to focus on our similarities, like the fact that we are all trying, all struggling, all wanting to be seen and to be loved. Perhaps if we start there, with this basic understanding of what it means to be alive, we will grow in our connection to one another and learn to love the beautiful difference that embody our improbable human reality. Scott Stabile